I have no idea why the feeling came along, it wasnt too good. I didnt feel any better after my 1 week long holiday. Yes - I enjoyed my holiday very much, really happy to see my Msia cousins, relatives as well. Although we only met once a year, we are much closer every year. My heart was heavy even before returning to work, this was a very wrong mindset to gear up. Just like a old car with engine problem, although after workshop it still did not turn any better. After I read the email, I could feel the weight on my shoulder getting heavier. Totally no confident in myself if I could carry it. I am not a person who know how to guide other, from now on I have to learn. Stime I asked if I wanted to continue my life this way. Struggle to earn my penny cos I still have kids to support. When can I put down and do something I really like and will not drag my feet to work. Buck up buck up! I cannot shutdown at this moment... yes not this moment.. May be I need to be sent for a longer workshop ma...